Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
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