Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
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