First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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