A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
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