It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
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