Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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