Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
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